Many new years you may see, but happy ones you cannot see without deserving them. — CHESTERFIELD
Happiness is a personal realization, an internal need, and an internal need can only be satisfied from within. No amount of outward success can bring us satisfaction and no amount of pleasure pursuits can make us happy if we are not at peace inside. Happiness is gratification of the soul. It constitutes a sense of peace and satisfaction, of gladness and enchantment, of fulfillment and tranquility, of calm and serenity. To achieve this, our life has to be in total harmony with our inner self. No inner need can be satisfied by outside forces alone, and no outside forces can bring us a sense of peace and happiness, no matter what.
Another problem with the unhappy man is that he wants to project to the world that he is happy even when he is miserable inside. This is precisely why an unhappy individual will resort to excessive laughter and gaiety in the hope of being able to hide and compensate for his internal misery.
ADDISON has said, ‘True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it feels everything it wants within itself, and receives no addition from multitudes of witnesses and spectators. False happiness loves to be in a crowd, and to draw the eyes of the world upon her.’
And also F A. P AVELING has said, ‘The really happy man never laughs — or seldom — though he may smile. He does not need to laugh, for laughter, like weeping, is a relief of mental tension — and happy are not over-strung.’
An individual who is at peace with himself will rarely be boisterous; he has no need to be. You never feel the need to compensate for what you have. This in no way means that spontaneous laughter and gaiety are unnatural or unhealthy; we are only talking of extremes, and extremes are always motivated. Motivated show of happiness is always artificial and is visible to everyone; it fools no one and helps no one. It can only bring anguish and nothing else. You cannot feel happy by trying to look happy or feel that way. It shows through and feels through. When you feel the need to show how happy you are just pause and see what is it that you are trying to compensate for?
AUSTIN has said, ‘Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye.’
When your actions are right the results too are generally right. You seldom ruin a dish if you cook it the right way and with the right ingredients. The same holds true for our life as well. But in our Endeavor to be happy we run after pleasure with determination and end up turning our quest for happiness into a big struggle. And in most cases this struggle outweighs whatever pleasure or happiness we derive from our Endeavor.
POPE has said, ‘False happiness is like false money; it passes for a time as well as true, and serves some ordinary occasions; but when it is brought to the touch, we find the lightness and alloy, and feel the loss.’